Pickup lines: tell us your best – and the worst you've ever heard

By The Guardian/ Shortcuts Updated at 2013-07-03 07:25:14 +0000


Rod Stewart claims to have used the same one for 30 years. Have you ever used one and been successful with it? Or laughed in someone's face when they did?

Hey girls, do you have a map? Because I just got lost in your eyes.

Now, chances are you've all just instantly fallen head over heels in love with me. This is because, according to a Vanity Fair survey, I've just used the world's most effective pickup line. Do try to contain yourselves. It would have been a completely different story if I'd opened with "Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?" or – worse yet – "You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy", because statistically they tend to go down much worse.

Obviously, the real skill of the pickup line is to possess a moronic amount of self-belief – belief that the object of your affection won't immediately ignore you, or laugh in your face, or physically attack you for being such an opportunistic little twerp – but it's worth persevering with. Rod Stewart, for example, puts his 30-year run of successful pickups down to a curious "What have you got in that handbag?", while Justin Bieber once used "Hey baby, this fondue is waiting for you. You wanna taste it?" And everyone loves Justin Bieber, right?

So let's throw this open. Which pickup lines have worked best for you, and what's the worst you've ever heard?